The Discount Genie Salesman — One day I was walking home from Church, when it appeared as though an Old Man was trying to get my attention. I looked around, and it was just us two. So, I tipped my hat and greeted the man. “Hello, I’m Karl,” I said. …

The Quest for Glory and Cheezy Chaps — Here you are at Shopmart. You just need one thing, but you can’t find it. Figures, Shopmart is by design a Labyrinth. You work your way through the aisles looking for clues, health tonics, swords, anything that can help you on your Quest for Glory and Cheezy Chaps. …

No one’s irreplaceable you know — Johnson: It says here that your last position was lead Pretengineer. What in fact is a Pretengineer? Adelaide: It’s simple really. I create and manipulate invisible objects with my mind. Johnson: So, You’re a Mime? Adelaide: Was. Johnson: Why did you leave your last position? Adelaide: People don’t like Mimes …

Coming to you live on KHAOS Radio. — Narrator: On the last episode of Guts Malone: The World’s Worst Mafia Boss; Guts Malone ate a 4 lb. Beef and Bean Burrito, and washed it down with 2 liters of Orange Magmagush. We now find him occupying a Public Toilet in the little Town of Andy. Officer Andy: This…

Español Mother Fucker. Do You Speak It? — I remember one time I was sitting on the loading docks smoking a cigarette on my break. Juan Carlos was in an altercation with one of the other workers, and this guy called him “Essay.” Juan Carlos says to the man “Are you calling me a double spaced, 1,000-word dissertation…

These Chicken Pieces are far better than they have any right to be — Fried Chicken is something people either do incredibly well or horribly wrong. If you fuck up one little thing, nobody wants to eat it. I know I won’t. I will be judging Domino’s Chicken Pieces for Eatability, Tasteability, Goodability and, Lookability. Eatability Can I eat it? These things are so God…

And Math is pretty cool too — I’ve been busting my ass all day at work today. Finally, I took a real break, ate some Pizza, and relaxed. On this particular break, I decided to design a template for OneNote: As you can see, it’s still a work in progress. The current formula is designed to model…

But I have to admit, it’s pretty fucking tasty — I have a really weird relationship with Quora. According to Lawrence “Kranky” Shanet, I am recognized as a top writer in “Dumplings.” I can’t help it, I Love Dumplings. I hate tattoos, but in this case, I could get one of Gyoza. In fact, I Love Dumplings so much that…